When I first became pregnant in February 2005, I was more than ecstatic to say the least. My husband and I had been married for four years, and were more than ready to start our family. Sadly, I carried the baby for only 12 weeks until it passed on April 20. On April 22 surgeons removed my precious baby. I wish now that I had let the baby pass naturally, but I was not as wise to the natural ways back then as I am now. This was one of the most painful times in my husband’s and my life. There are no words to describe a mother’s feelings when she looses a child. No matter the age of the child or length of the pregnancy, mothers have a deep connection to that life. My husband felt this deep sense of loss as well, and at times seemed to take it harder than I. Through deep sadness and heartache, we pulled through and faithfully believed that God had a plan.
A month or two later, we were in a Christian book store, and I was looking at the clearance items (you know me!). Among the clearance items was a small white Bible with the name “Eli” engraved on the front. Only the Lord knows how that Bible ended up there, but I knew in the instant I saw it that I was going to have a son and his name would be Eli. I can’t explain how I knew this, but I felt the Lord speaking to me through those three golden-engraved letters.
The next month, I found out I was pregnant. Like almost any woman that finds she is pregnant, I rushed to the computer to calculate my due date. Tears began streaming down my face as I saw the date APRIL 22; the day the surgeons had removed my other baby. In that moment, peace overwhelmed me and I knew that my son, Eli, would be okay. When a woman has previously miscarried, it’s easy to be fearful in following pregnancies. Especially when getting pregnant so quickly after a loss. It wasn’t this way for me. The presence of the Holy Spirit, and the Peace that only God can give, let me know that this pregnancy would make it.
At 20 weeks, it was time for an ultrasound. We were referred to a perinatologist, so that he could take a closer look at the baby. He diagnosed my son as a “Blue Baby,” meaning he had Transposition of the Great Arteries in the heart. This meant that he would not be able to survive after birth unless he had immediate heart surgery. I can’t explain how I knew, but I knew the doctor was wrong. I knew that my baby was okay. Next up we saw a cardiologist, who said that the other docter was wrong. He said my baby had Congenitally Corrected Transposition. Which is just a fancy way of saying everything is swapped around, but the flow of blood is self-corrected. This meant he was not a “blue baby,” but actually had a more rare condition. He would not need surgery immediately after birth, but he would need eventual intervention. If you have ever had experience with children and heart surgeries, you know that the older they get the better chance there is that surgery will be a success. Though the diagnosis was serious and rare, it was still good news.
I was able to bring my son to full-term, and give birth completely natural with no intervention on the exact day I had lost my previous child.
I will continue on with more of my son’s story next week.
Edit: I just wanted to add, that each child is special and unique, and one cannot take the place of the other. I still mourn for the baby I lost, but with God’s help and my children I do find peace.
Loosing a baby and dealing with medical conditions is something many families have to face. I believe that with God, we can pull through the tragedies and reach a place of peace. I’ll be focusing my prayers this week on all the parent’s that have lost a child, or are struggling with a child’s medical condition. If you have a prayer request for yourself or someone you know, please feel free to leave it here in the comment section. I would love to hear your stories, and/or any encouraging words you may have for others.