I’m not a size 0. I use to be a size 16, and now I’m a 6. I decided to change my life and my health through exercise and healthy eating. And the funny thing that happened when I got healthier? People decided to take jabs at my appearance.
I have stretch marks.
I have cellulite.
I have a muffin top.
I have a belly that hangs over my pants, because of the excess skin from childbirth.
It’s funny to me that I receive shaming statements about being thin, even though by “Hollywood Standards” and “Fitness Standards” I’m still considered to be somewhat overweight.
Sometimes I’m seen as skinny, and sometimes I’m seen as overweight. It really depends on where I am and who I’m talking to, as to what people decide that I am (notice how I said that?).
But let’s talk about what I’m really fired-up about. This is something that I not only witness with myself, but I witness it with friends of mine that are even skinner than me.
Read these statements:
“Real women have curves,” “she’s too skinny,” “she’s skin and bones,” “real men don’t want a skinny b*tch,” and so on and so forth.
It should be obvious why I take issue with this: It is a form of BULLYING. And guess what? No one likes a bully, nor do they like to be bullied.
I get it. We don’t like photoshop, and we don’t like the constant “you have to be skinny to be hot” propaganda that we get from Hollywood and the media today. Do you have any idea how tempting it is for me to photo shop that picture of my muffin top? And how about how hard it was to even post it up here on the internet for all to see?
Those of us with “curves” don’t want to be shamed. I get it. I don’t want to be shamed for mine either.
But instead of lashing out by saying things like “you’re not a real woman if you don’t have curves like me” in order to make ourselves feel better, let’s take a step back and take a different approach.
Read these sentences to yourself out loud:
“Real Women Are Skinny.”
“Real Women Are a Size Zero.”
“Real Women Are Toned.”
“Real Women Have a Six-Pack.”
“Real Women Aren’t Overweight.”
“Real Women Don’t Have Stretch Marks.”
“Real Women Don’t Have Curves.”
How did those statements make you feel? Mad? As soon as you saw the title of this post, were you ready to rally the troops and bring on the firestorm of hate comments with a social media frenzy?
Now, put yourself in another woman’s shoes who is either naturally skinny or works really hard at maintaining a small and fit figure. Then imagine other people telling you that “real women have curves,” which basically translates to “you aren’t a real woman.”
This is called “Fit/Skinny Shaming,” and is a form of bullying.
And why do people bully? You’ve read the books. You dealt with the bullying in childhood, and you now know that bullies do what they do out of insecurity. They have to put others down in order to make themselves feel better.
Fit shaming and skinny shaming are just as painful to the recipient as fat shaming.
Why? Because we are all human beings with feelings and insecurities. No one wants to be shamed for the way he or she looks. We want to be loved and accepted. It’s basic human nature.
So the next time you feel the need to post a selfie and say something along the lines of “real women have curves” in order to make people like what they see, don’t.
Instead, let’s rally together as women and say that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
I’d love to see a statement like “WE ARE REAL WOMEN,” spread around like wildfire vs. “You’re not real, but I am.”
No matter your size, no matter your skin color, no matter your hair color, and no matter how many tiger stripes you have across that muffin top – you are beautiful. We accept each other, we love each other, and we refuse to bully one another.