Shaming You Makes Me Feel Better

SELF Magazine recently put out a photo of two ladies in tutus under the “+BS Meter” section of their magazine and said, ” A racing tutu epidemic has struck NYC’s Central Park, and it’s all because people think these froufrou skirts make you run faster. Now, if you told us they made people run away from you faster, maybe we would believe it.”

When they first asked the women if they could use the photo, the women had no idea that SELF would be using the photo to publicly shame them. In a spin of what can only be called a public relations nightmare, it turns out that one of the runners is a cancer survivor and the woman makes the tutus to support Girls on The Run San Diego.

SELF Magazine tutu shaming

First off, is anyone really shocked that a magazine is poking fun at someone’s outfit? Seriously…we see it happen to celebrities every single day.

But when a cancer survivor is shamed for wearing the tutus that she makes to support a charity, it’s a big deal. And I’m being genuinely serious with that statement. It IS A BIG DEAL. And you know why it’s a big deal? Because it is shaming another human being, plain and simple. But I’d like to take it a step further and say that this is a big deal, no matter who the victim of the shaming is.

And that’s what we do right? We shame others so we can feel better about ourselves. It’s called classic bullying.

I can still remember being pointed at and called “scarf girl” in middle school by the bullies at the back of the school bus. I wore a scarf, and they decided that it was cause to laugh and make fun of me, mock me, and even go so far as to threaten to shoot me with a gun. Over a scarf? Yeah… Bullying is bullying.

BTW, I still wear scarves because I love them and my neck stays warm. Boom!

Shaming is something I have never been able to understand. Bullying and shaming happen at any age, too. I’ve dealt with plenty of bullies that are grown-ass adults, and constantly think: “What am I back in middle school, again?”

Why do we feel that we have the right to shame another human being in order to make ourselves feel better? Because that’s what it’s really about, right? Bullies feel inadequate with themselves, so they need to point out other people “flaws” in order to feel better. I put “flaws” in quotations because they aren’t really flaws.

If I want to wear a damn scarf, what right does that give anyone to make fun of me? If a woman wants to wear a tutu at a race, whether or not she is a cancer survivor shouldn’t matter. Because, I can tell you with certainty that this situation wouldn’t have caused such an uproar if she had not. She should not have been mocked no matter what her background! If I want to go wear a tutu while I run (which I’ve actually done by the way), that does not give any other human being the right to mock me and shame me to others.

You don’t like it? Fine. You have the right to your opinion, but don’t shame me and bully me.

Careless words hurt people, and shaming someone else is wrong. Careless shaming words meant to be humorous are wrong, too. 

I’m sure the magazine meant it all in good fun, right?

Don’t do it. 

And that’s pretty much all I have to say on the matter.

P.S. Go show your support for the Glam Runner girls and get your own tutu. Be sure to run with it proudly! 🙂


By |2014-03-28T12:54:53-04:00March 28th, 2014|Health and Wellness|7 Comments

About the Author:

I'm a former sweet-tooth turned health-nut. After a difficult loss of a first pregnancy and having a second child with a heart condition, I became obsessed with health and wellness. I revamped our entire family's lifestyle, dropped seven pant sizes, and created a website where I could share our story and help support people wanting to make small changes day by day in order to live well. I also support my family by the work that I do here through advertising content, affiliates, and partnership/consultant links within content. When you click and/or order, it puts food on our table. Thanks for all your support, and may you live well and thrive!


  1. Steve March 28, 2014 at 10:50 am - Reply

    Ooooo Crystal said “damn” in her column! LOL! Loved it girl! You tell it like it is dammit! xD

  2. C March 28, 2014 at 1:01 pm - Reply

    She said damn AND ass…….yeah she was pissed 😉

    • Crystal Collins March 28, 2014 at 1:32 pm - Reply

      LOL! Guess you could say my “BS meter” went off! 😉

      • C March 28, 2014 at 9:37 pm - Reply

        Darn right!

  3. Andrea C. March 28, 2014 at 1:08 pm - Reply

    I love how the editor-in-chief apologized and said they didn’t know she had cancer or they wouldn’t have done that. (See article below.) She’s basically stating that it’s only a problem because the runner had cancer. Ugh!

    • Rachel @ finding joy March 28, 2014 at 8:12 pm - Reply


      That is what bothered me as well. It should have been a “we totally messed up and disregarded women in general and that is not what SELF is about…” kind of apology. But they tried to cover a mistake with a mistake and thus made themselves look worse.


      Great article. Good perspective. And welcome to the world of using damn in your posts. It is rather liberating, I think. And in this case? Well, this was a case of absolute ridiculousness. I have no idea how this ever made it past the first cut. Thanks for being a voice for women and empowerment.


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